Since my last post about “the perfect Indianapolis day,” I have essentially become MAROONED in Indianapolis. It’s not so bad I guess. But I sure can understand all the “Occupy this-or-that” post grads with nothing better to do. Sure, most of the day I lay a round in a very nice house and cuddle with a very nice puppy, BUT THERE HAS TO BE MORE OUT THERE!!!!
(Note: STILL waiting for the UK Border Patrol to get their act together so I can start my VOLUNTEER job in N. Ireland. I hope for a start date by January. Otherwise, I’m moving on to the post-Ireland plan, e.g. get a job or more school.)
OUT THERE–I have very successful friends, and maybe if I’m lucky enough to still be their friend as they continue in success, some of their success will drip over to me. What is success? I guess it’s those people who ACTUALLY GET TO DO what they set out to do, AND they like it. In the meantime, I guess I should be happy that I can substitute teach… Even though it has nothing to do with what I have been studying for the past 8 years of my life. And pays less than half of what I have been paid for the past 8 years of my life. I sure do sound bitter even though last month I went to Boston and had a beach vaca, and I will do the same in the coming month. After that it’s basically Christmas or bust.
While I want to try and empathize with those who are WAY less fortunate than I am, I honestly have trouble not feeling like I deserve what I want right now. And because I’m not getting what I want right now at this very moment, a petulant child is coming out. Some may NEVER EVER get what they want, and still be happy. And I’m reasonably sure I’ll eventually have what I want, but I’m still not so sure about this happiness thing. How does that work?
Soooooooo… While I’m waiting for what I want (Ireland, which is completely out of my control), I get to figure out what I want while I’m waiting for what I want. I would like to make money. AND LOOK! I can sub. Check. I would like to visit the bf and go on family vacations. I’ve done that too! I would like to do more churchy things. Done that too! And I’m getting particularly good at Yelp reviews–Yeehaw!
I would like to figure out what I will do AFTER Ireland… Working on it. It’s tough trying to narrow things down. I expected to just leave the country ASAP shirking all REAL responsibility (including unpacking and trading out seasonal clothes). Responsibility found me. And now I have no idea what to expect from Ireland.