Will God forgive me? I certainly hope so. But really, that’s not really what this post is about, it’s about when we feel so bad about something we did, we think God will never forgive us. The fact is, we’re already forgiven, and really we’re struggling with forgiving ourselves. It’s kind of weird doing these statements involving God, but it’s good to talk it out. For those of you you dislike the word “God” replace it with whatever or whoever might be most useful for you. It works the same.
I forgive myself for believing… God will never forgive me. God doesn’t forgive. I’m not worthy of forgiveness. I deserve to suffer. No one should forgive me, including myself. I’ll just end up doing the same thing again.
I forgive God/others… For making me feel like it’s impossible to forgive me. For shaming me so much, that I can’t receive forgiveness. For providing inaccurate portrayals of God and God’s forgiveness. For not forgiving me and telling me God will not forgive me. For making me feel unworthy of God’s love and forgiveness. For making me suffer.
I give God/others permission to forgive me… When I don’t forgive. When I hate them. When I cut them off. When I want them to suffer the same way I’m suffering or worse. When I do the same unforgiveable things over and over. When I tell others God will not forgive them.
I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid… I’ll keep believing that God won’t forgive me. I won’t be able to forgive myself or God ever. I will be cut off from love and forgiveness and healing forever because of what I’ve done or what has happened to me.
I give myself permission to accept… I am forgiven by God. I am able to forgive myself. I am able to accept forgiveness by others. I am loved. There is nothing I can do to separate myself from the love of God. God’s love is always available. I can accept God’s love. I am worthy of love. No matter what I’ve done, there is always room for healing and forgiveness. I am here to be loved.
Without this feeling of “God never forgiving me,” I am free to… Accept God’s forgiveness, grace, and mercy. Accept forgiveness to myself. Give myself grace. Give others grace when they same thing happens to them. Help others struggling to accept God’s love and forgiveness. Show others my own wounds and experiences in order to help them feel loved and forgiven.
Take a deep breath. You are forgiveable.