I’ll never forgive myself.

LW16_192Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest things to do.  How in the world can you do it?  Just say the words to yourself.  Tough stuff. Let’s do this…

I forgive myself for believing… I can’t forgive myself.  I don’t deserve my own forgiveness or anyone elses.  I’m unforgiveable.  I deserve to suffer for whatever I’ve done.  Others will judge me if I show myself grace and mercy and don’t suffer for a long time.  It’s better if I don’t forgive myself.  I can’t forgive myself until someone else forgives me, or I have to feel someone elses forgiveness.  Forgiving myself is dependent on someone else.  If I forgive myself I’ll do the same thing again.

I forgive others… For not helping me forgive myself.  For believing I don’t deserve forgiveness. For creating a cycle of unforgiveness that I then help perpetuate.  When they believe I need to suffer for a long time.

I give others permission to forgive me… For not forgiving myself.  For continuing in suffering when I could heal.  When I don’t think they deserve my or their own forgiveness for whatever they’ve done.

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid… I can never forgive myself.  If I forgive myself I won’t know who I am.  If I forgive myself others will judge me for being too easy on myself.

I give myself permission to accept… I can forgive myself.  If I forgive myself I will still be me, I will still be safe, I will heal.  I don’t have to suffer. I can be happy.  I can be good.  I am good. I will continue to make good choices in the future, and I won’t perpetuate my own and others suffering if/when I make a mistake.

Without this feel of never being able to forgive myself, I am free to... Forgive myself! Make good choices.  Forgive others.  Show myself and others mercy.  Stop suffering unnecessarily.  Let go of the pain.  Let go of the suffering. Be healed.  Be loved.  Be judged without fear.  Be myself.  Be courageous.  Be worthy.

EPTworks.

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Author: Paige

Explorer. Healer. Eater. School counselor, teacher, party planner. Personal passions are holistic healthcare education, spirituality, food, and writing.

1 thought on “I’ll never forgive myself.”

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