Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die… Read this, and take a deep breath after each statement.
I forgive myself for believing… I can’t forgive you. I’ll never forgive you. Forgiving you would not be good for me. If I forgive you, you’ll just hurt me again. Some things are unforgiveable. My suffering is to hurt you. Being angry is better than having peace. I’m in control when I don’t forgive you. Withholding love protects me. Not forgiving protects me from hurt. I won’t know who I am if I forgive you. Withholding forgiveness is good for me. They don’t deserve forgiveness. You have to change before I can forgive. If I forgive you, then I’ll lose you. Healing is impossible.
I forgive them/others/whoever… For hurting me. For teaching me that unforgiveness is a better option than forgiveness. For defining me by unforgiveness. For not forgiving me. For believing they don’t deserve forgiveness. For believing it’s my fault. For not changing. For believing change is impossible. For believing that protecting me this way was good for me. For being too protective. For not letting me go. For believing healing is impossible.
I give them/others/whoever permission to forgive me… When I don’t forgive them. When I hold a grudge. When I seek revenge even though it hurts me. When I teach them that it’s better not to forgive those who have hurt you. When I hurt them and myself withholding forgiveness. When I believe that they don’t deserve forgiveness. When I hate them the same way they hate me.
I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid… I can’t forgive. Forgiveness isn’t good for me. I’ll just be hurt again. I’ll just hate again. I won’t be able to forgive again.
I give myself permission to… Forgive. Heal. Transcend my anger. Ask for help. Find help. Let go of the hurt. Have peace. Have genuine restorative relationships with the people surrounding me.
I give myself permission to accept… Not forgiving is not good for me. Forgiving will help me to heal. It is possible for me to forgive you. I will forgive you. Forgiving helps me to grow. I will heal. I can let go. I will love again.
Without this feeling of unforgiveness, I am free to… Forgive. Be pain free. Let go of my suffering. Teach others to forgive. Heal. Be awesome. Forgive over and over again. Restore my relationships. Love myself. Forgive myself.