Yes Dear, Sleep Naked, and 30 Other Reasons My Parents are Awesome On Their 30th Anniversary


I’m always really bad about remembering when my parents anniversary is. But there are a couple things that remind me. 1) My birthday is, give or take, one year after they were married. And 2) the month of September, because I know that this is the month that it’s in. Is it at the beginning? Is it at the end? I don’t know. All I know is that this year is their THIRTIETH! 30 years. INSANE. And I’m not even sure if today is the day.

In some ways, I know, their just babies. But still impressive. For their anniversary, I put together a list of 30ish things about their awesomeness

  1. Red heads: FIVE RED-HEADED CHILDREN. My parents have set out on a mission to repopulate the world with redheads. So far, they are pretty successful. When my family walks into a room, we are no longer the minority. In this way, we never really felt out of place.
  2. Baby making machines–FIVE CHILDREN
  3. Repopulating the world with redheads. Reiterating the facts.
  4. Screen Shot 2014-09-28 at 11.06.06 AMChiropractors: Both of my parents are chiropractors. What does this mean? Awesome adjustments all the time any where. Lots of nutritional experimentation (c.f. Eat Right for Your Type, Atkins, low carb, low calorie, no dairy, hCG, Neurotransmitter supplements, homeopathic medicine, etc etc.). Yet, I still remember a lot of hot pockets, ramen, and Taco Bell in my past.
  5. Ecumenism! My parents instilled insanely inclusive tendencies into us: dad’s side is Catholic, mom’s side is church of Christ, and we went to a Pentecostal (church of God) school (And my parents let us read Harry Potter!) I mean, we’re still missing a lot, and you know, I don’t know if I’d recommend this way of introducing children to a variety of Christianities. But hey, it seems like we got out ok.
  6. Vacation: We work hard and we play hard, and playing hard is way more important. Beach vacations for as long as I can remember, instilled a pretty lively passion for travel in every one of us.
  7. They cuddle: We’re all super cuddly. Put us in a mansion, and somehow we’ll all end up in the same room hanging out.
  8. They are pretty great cooks: Even with all the dieting, frozen, and instant food, they cook too.
  9. They taught us the wonders of the VITAMIX Green Smoothie: We got “green shakes” from a young age. Oh yeah, we were doing Spinach smoothies way before it was cool, and now, as adults, we still do it.
  10. They get better with age: OMG My parents are hot.
  11. They encourage each other’s hobby endeavors– dad fishing and golf, mom giggle machine and sauna. I don’t remember anyone ever saying, “Sorry, you can’t do that.”
  12. They have great advice: For example, Dad says the secret to a great marriage is “Yes, Dear” and “Sleep Naked.”
  13. Screen Shot 2014-09-28 at 11.05.46 AMThey let us all go to Malibu: All five children, all moved to Malibu at 18 to go to Pepperdine University.
  14. Bike riding! We went on so many bike rides as children. It was our main form of transportation in the summer–grocery shopping and all. We didn’t wear helmets… But I distinctly remember being told to put a helmet on the baby IF you go for a bike ride. (You know the little seat on the back of the bike?
  15. Always put a helmet on the baby (when you’re riding a bike)
  16. They laugh: No matter what.
  17. Christmas newsletter: These have existed since before my youngest brother was born. They come in a color and black and white edition, and that’s how you know your place.
  18. Cruises: They surprised us with a cruise for Christmas one year.
  19. Surprise trips to Chicago to see musicals: They surprised us with a road trip to Chicago to go see wicked another year.
  20. They approve of my [future] spouse: At least I think they do. They’re letting me get married.
  21. They introduced us to dark comedy at a young age: Think three year old Paige watching Little Shop of Horrors. My parents wondering, “You think it’s okay if she likes this? We also have a strange obsession with Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd. What?! The music is amazing!
  22. Foot massages: Almost every single night, my mom and I would kick everyone off the couch so we could exchange a foot massage–15 minutes per foot. Massage is SO important.
  23. Homemade halloween costumes: Link, pirate, gypsy (yes, gypsy), we don’t buy those things.
  24. They always break the rules: And get away with it. Usually to make someone else’s life better.
  25. They taught us about feminism and gender equality and all the “isms”. Yeah, again, without trying, talking about it, or wanting it! Actions speak louder than words. My mom made babies, made money, let the boys cry, and talked about the idea of “mixed swimming”. My dad cooks, does laundry, took his girls to Tae Kwon Do, and calls us all “whops”.
  26. Innovative with chores: Mom made a deal with dad, “You do laundry and I’ll do dishes.” Mom then organized a dish doing rotation with the children.
  27. They encourage us to dream big! Most of my life, my mom took us to models homes, desiring to move out of out 1300 square feet house. She did of course, after I left for college.
  28. Generosity: My parents love to give whatever they can to make others happy.
  29. Creativity: Obvi.
  30. Be kind.
  31. Love others.
  32. Forgive.
  33. We stick together no matter what: California, Utah, Puerto Rico, Florida, Indiana. This is where we live now, but we are together.

And that’s more than enough to get them through the next years.


Author: Paige

Explorer. Healer. Eater. School counselor, teacher, party planner. Personal passions are holistic healthcare education, spirituality, food, and writing.

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