Maybe it’s just the time of year, but everything spiritual actually feels easy right now. I suppose I did some serious prep work last year… and the year before that. Grad school. Going to church everyday. Stuff like that. With that, I thought that I might have more inspirational things to say, or more existential crises. But I really haven’t. I was reading more about Thomas Merton’s conversion. Here is a quote,
“For there is no doubt that one of the reasons why grace is not given to souls is because they have so hardened their wills in greed and cruelty and selfishness that their refusal of it would only harden them more… But now I had been beaten into the semblence of some kind of humility by misery and confusion and perplexity and secret, interior fear, and my ploughed soul was better ground for the reception of good seed.”
I don’t really feel this way, like my soul has been plowed. Though, others might. There was a point in the book where he is recounting his first confession, and confessing to basically schism etc. As in, not being Catholic when he should? I think. For me though, I feel free. I feel free to enjoy the church and the people in the church and the work of the church. What church? Whichever one I’m attending. I am looking forward to some RCIA action this fall, and I will be there, fully present, ready for a ploughed soul.