I went to RCIA last night. I was very nervous, but warmed up pretty quick. It was a very strange feeling. This week in RCIA, and next week preaching. This week hanging out with undergrad seniors who know nothing about the Bible, and next week preaching for theology professors and Ph.D. candidates.
During the time we spent together last night, we read some of the lectionary for this coming Sunday. Sr. Mary literally asked, “What would you preach on?” I chuckled to myself… because I am preaching in the coming weeks. But I am also learning. I’m learning with a bunch of 20-somethings who know very little to nothing about all this. I am at the bottom and I am at the top, per-say. And it is very humbling. Even though I’ve done faith formation my entire life. I’ve dedicated hours, days, probably even entire weeks to memorizing, studying, and writing on Scripture and spirituality—I still sit with a group of adults who know nothing, and learn something and grow somehow. It’s a miracle.
Being in this little RCIA group, I also felt a nostalgic feeling of missing Christian education and desire to grow in Christian community. Even though the whole RCIA process could feel annoying, repetitive, and pointless because, well, I know everything already. In my gut, it feels like a calling.
While we were sitting there listening to Mary, and listening to her STM graduate student helpers, I couldn’t help but think, “I can do this. I want to do this.” Now, looking at this written down, it looks like I pep-talking myself into confirmation, but mostly, I was thinking along the lines of teaching. I could teach the class. But I have to experience it first.
It is amazing how Christianity allows for transformation and conversion within itself. So, if you’re “born and raised” whatever, you can still grow and change and be “converted.” You can experience the transformative power of Jesus even in your own desensitization to Christianity. Not to say that you can’t experience that in a “born and raised” situation, but there is so much we can experience in Christ that Christians like to block themselves off from. It’s too bad we, Christians, get stuck.
I mean really, who wants to go to square one in another church? It’s terrifying.
I think I like the RCIA group I’m in. I like seeing these budding Catholics. Having been at Boston College so long, and now, considering taking the plunge. Nadia Bolz-Weber says, “It’s spiritual physics: Something has to die in order for something else to live.” What is dying in me?