Advent Waiting and Waiting…

Just Be God’s: A Call to Continuing Conversion is a series of blog posts. You might want to start reading it from the beginning: Here.

December 4

I am not a traditional kind of girl. My lack of tradition and my inability to fit to a certain cultural standard is very stressful sometimes. I told my mom about RCIA, and she was excited, “You’re gonna become Catholic?!” She also agreed how unfair it is that Catholics can be Protestanty, but Protestants can’t be Catholicy. And then she talked about how much she likes secretly being both.

Anyway, this season of Advent feels like the opposite of waiting. Waiting. Patience. Anxiety. Hope. It’s a weird place to be waiting. Because, in my experience, it’s like you’re so close, you’re practically there, you feel all the feelings like you are there, but you are not there, you are waiting. Maybe planning. Maybe preparing. Maybe not. Everything is so close! But so far away. There is so much pressure! But it’s out of my control.

What do we do when we wait? What do I do when I wait?

Waiting in line at a theme park or grocery store.

Waiting to be waited on.

Waiting for a ring.

Waiting for a ceremony.

Waiting to quit.

Waiting to do something new.

Waiting for calling.

Waiting for vacation.

Waiting for inspiration.

Waiting for change.

Waiting for the right moment.

Waiting to move.

All these things are in and out of my control. I want to control them all. I want to believe that I can make these things happen when and how I want them. But you know what they say, “The best laid plans…” I can do some, I can take myself so far, and then I wait. Something happens, and then I do it again.

I know a lot of people complain when waiting, especially when it comes to food, i.e. grocery stores and restaurants. I seem to always choose the slowest grocery line or have the slowest waiter. In these situations, I’ve given up complaining (for the most part). I’ll either wait patiently, accept my situation, or change lines/restaurants (which sometimes makes no difference at all). I’m not trying to be pessimistic, but that’s what I mean by things being out of my control: If I change my situation, I may just end up in the same situation somewhere else. (Insert Paige becoming Catholic metaphor here.)

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Author: Paige

Explorer. Healer. Eater. School counselor, teacher, party planner. Personal passions are holistic healthcare education, spirituality, food, and writing.

1 thought on “Advent Waiting and Waiting…”

  1. As usual, I chose the completely wrong line in the supermarket, something we may have in common! In my own defense today (is that necessary?), I don’t feel that well, so I only ran out to pick up a few necessary provisions. It seemed that I had less than 20 items, but between being sick and my post-Camino ennui, I just did not have it in me to count them, so I got in the regular line. Mistakes were made.

    Or were they?

    Waiting… Anyway, as I waited, rather than take a moment to focus on God or Advent or prayer, or just to be still in the midst of it all, I looked at my phone. And when I saw that you had posted something new about the very act I was trying hard not to be engaged in, I had to click into it.

    Reading your words about waiting brought forth a quickening of sorts, in this pregnant and expectant time. That’s language I rarely wade into, having never borne a child of my own, but that’s what came up. I am reminded of my own Advent blogging theme of waiting in motion, but am I really doing that? Life can be a series of switching supermarket lanes, but maybe it is best to stay put and ride it out. Am I waiting or am I paralyzed?

    These rhetorical questions swirl around my head and my heart, and I have no answers, but somehow, something in the waiting has shifted, even if barely perceptibly. Thanks for your generous blogging Paige. You are in my prayers.

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