A Letter From Depression

Read “A Letter to Depression” Here

Dear Paige,

It’s good to hear from you, and I’m glad you’re doing well and trying to help others. That’s always what I’m trying to do…

You are correct. I am always there. Most, if not all people, know me in some form or fashion at some point in their life. I feel good that some people want to hang out with me for so long, but I don’t always understand why. I may appear in a time of need, but after a while, I don’t choose to be with them, they choose to be with me.

Maybe it’s because I’m pretty reliable, I’m there more consistently than people. I’m better at reminding and remembering things you’d rather forget. People don’t show up or ask questions. People don’t ask about me or talk about me. People ignore me, deny me, tell me to go away, which never works. So, I stick around as long as necessary.

Sometimes I’m there to remind people of something that they forgot. People would rather be with me than the memory, whatever it is. It doesn’t matter to me what happened. I don’t judge. I don’t bring shame. I’m just something to focus on instead, and that’s cool with me.

But what makes me back off? That’s a good question. I mean, I know when I’m needed, and when I “go away” it’s more like melting. Or I’m like a force field that is no longer necessary. Most of the time, it does take some amount of time.

I feel like people want me to go away as quick as possible, they HATE me, which only makes me closer. If I wasn’t there, then people would never be able to be real. To deny me is to deny your realness and reality, and that’s why I can be so strong. Until that realness and reality is owned with other humans, I’m like slime or stuck like a barnacle. Imagine, people just walking around covered in slime, unable to talk or connect with one another… Or worse, a person yelling at a slimed person to get the slime off. “What? I can’t hear you.”

Hurricanes hit. Parents die. People hurt other people. Accidents happen.

And I’m there to help.

At least until you get a good hug. Or your pain is recognized by another. Or you tell your story. Or if you have a good cry, maybe even with another human. Of you have deep reflection. Or you’re caught in intense prayer. Or you figure something out. Or you forgive. Or there is gratitude. Or there is mercy.

I keep you safe and known until you’re ready for some of the above.

Hope this helps.

Depression

 

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I will never forgive them/you/whoever.

Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die… Read this, and take a deep breath after each statement. Continue reading “I will never forgive them/you/whoever.”